Wednesday, August 29, 2012

All Growed Up


I am one of those silly moms who counts the hours until her child can master the next major milestone.  Once one skill is grasped we quickly move onto the next as if it was a race to see how fast I can mold my kids into adults.

Rolling: Check
Sitting: Check
Crawling: Check
Driving: Check
 

Then like a complete fool I find myself in the throws of despair when I realize just how fast they are growing.  I begin to miss rocking them to sleep and hearing them coo.  My memory feels fuzzy and I fear that I'm forever losing my babies.  They are becoming children, and far too soon they really will be adults.
Isaac already drinks a cup of black coffee every morning and has begun to use daddy's deodorant...apparently he prefers an all day fresh feeling.
Sometimes they even talk like adults.  It floors me when I hear Ava say something that I would say.  It's like she is a micro version of me.  That's terrifying!  The world does not need a repeat of me.

I love them so completely, yet there are times when I just want to ignore their sweet little whiny voices and pretend for a half hour that they do not belong to me.  There are so many days that I simply cannot fathom why God entrusted these little people to me.  Does he not know that I am totally incapable of this task?  

Raising kids is a big deal.  It's not like having a cat.  Heavens, if I could just set out a little bowl of milk and empty their litter box once a week, that would be amazing!  But these kids are needy.  They want me to play and read to them.  They need to be bathed and clothed.  They want fed all the time!  And now that they know how to talk...they just keep talking!!  Why did we ever teach them how to do that?!

In all seriousness, I have wonderful children.  They are each a blessing to my life and I could not be more enamored with them.  But when it comes right down to it...I have no idea what I'm doing.  

Thankfully these kids belong to God.  We sort of have a joint custody arrangement.  I have them for now, He has them forever.  So, whenever I get in a tizzy about what's best for them...I talk to their Father.  When I worry about their future...I talk to their Father.  When I don't know what to do...I talk to their Father. 
And days when I fail miserably as a mother, their Father talks to me.  He encourages me to do better.  He gives me the courage to try again tomorrow.
When my kids are all grown, all my shortcomings as a parent will not matter. What they will remember is that they have a truly awesome Father.       


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