Yo Self

When interviewing for a new position, just be yourself.
When giving a speech or presentation, just be yourself.
When meeting new people, just be yourself.
I have even given Ava the same wise words as she shuffled into school on her first day.  "Just be yourself, Honey."  
 
That seems to be good advice.  But I've been thinking about these three words lately, and I think that there has to be better counsel to offer.  When I consider my own strange self, I think it would be better instruction to advise me to be anybody but myself!  I may have some people fooled, but I know who I really am.  I've been inside my own head and I have seen what's in there...and it's scary, I tell you!  I know all the dirty details of my innermost thoughts.  I know just how deep and dark I can be.  In fact, I'm willing to bet that I know things about me that would absolutely astonish you!  
If you knew these things you would never again encourage me to just be myself.  Instead, you might say, just be patient, or just be polite.  Just be honest.  Just be quiet.  Just don't be yourself!  Such advice would probably be more helpful in the end.
You see, I'm broken.  There are things about me that I don't like.  I'm selfish and stubborn.  I'm judgmental, unkind.  I've been rude, and at times offensive.  I can harbor hostility and I've even allowed bitterness to sour my spirit.  I don't want the world to see this side of me.  I try to keep the darkness hidden (even though the crazy obviously keeps oozing out!).

 Being myself is so unattractive!

The only comfort I have is knowing that God sees my deep dark dirty inner monstrosity and he loves it.  He loves me!  He's okay with me being myself in front of him.  But just because he loves this hot mess doesn't mean that he is content to let the chaos control me.   
Jesus is the answer to my "me" problem.  He said to deny myself...not be myself.  Deny my selfish, stubborn, judgmental, unkind, rude,offensive, hostile, bitter self!  Whew...is that it?!  Sure glad he didn't expect me to do something really hard!  

But God loves me so much that he couldn't simply let me be myself anymore.  Christ died so that my "just be yourself" attitude wouldn't destroy me.  Because as a fallen, broken person, I couldn't survive just being myself.  I needed more than myself, much much more.  I actually needed to be saved from myself!  

I've listened to myself often enough to know that I need to let God be himself in my life.  Once I was convinced of that fact, me, myself and I felt a lot better!!